What's In It For Me? Hopefully Nothing.

Today is Valentine’s Day, which you all know. Depending on your point of view this is either the most romantic of days, when you have the opportunity to show your love to your significant other, or the biggest of all “Hallmark Holidays”, created to guilt people into showing their love to significant others through buying cards, flowers, etc.
I have begun this day by reading several monologues covering such topics as; learning the art of manipulation (klryan75.blogspot.com), what’s the point in dating/marriage (warmincarolina.blogspot.com), what is the meaning of life (randomnight.blogspot.com). Each of these postings deal with how we relate to each other and what we can get out of it for ourselves. If you haven’t already I encourage you to visit each of these blogs. As we can all benefit from each other’s insight. Not to be left out, please also visit our friend in the world of forensics at theforensicdaily.blogspot.com if you haven’t recently.
I read about one persons theory that the meaning of life is tied in with how we effect others lives (hopefully for the positive). Not only those in our daily lives but also those around our country, and world for that matter, that are in need. Let me start by saying I don’t disagree with this theory. Showing love to those around us and those in need (even those we are unaware of) is, no question, part of the meaning for each of our lives.
I was amused by niece’s discovery of yet another way to manipulate her brother. It always amazes me how early kids learn this kind of stuff, just through interacting with their siblings and other kids they come in contact with. I think that is how the flu spreads also, but that’s an entirely different rant.
I also read a confirmed bachelor’s theories on the uselessness of dating, and ultimately marriage, in his life. I have to admit that I don’t have much ground to stand on when defending these things that most people see as a natural part of life. I also have to agree that there are people in this world who aren’t meant to travel down that road, or who simply choose not to. To liberally borrow a line from Bob’s reply on this, it’s not a good or bad choice, just simply a choice. In some people’s live there are things that are more important to them.
One thought that I had while reading all three of these is during our interactions with each other, on no matter what level or age, there seems to be a sense of ‘what’s in it for me’. Whether it’s the innocence of a four year old, or young adult trying to understand how they fit into the world, or some one trying to explain, justify, or simply rant about choices that require none of those actions. We all seem to be asking where’s my benefit, what can I get out of this, what’s in it for me?
I should stop here and say that I am no different than anyone one else. I am not getting on my soapbox to preach. View this rant as somewhere between ‘thinking out loud’ and convincing myself that I need to be more aware of my own motives.
Valentine’s Day is, regardless of your point of view, a means of putting ‘love’ in the faces of all of us. To add my two cents, (maybe 2 cents Canadian), for what it’s worth; the meaning of life is showing love to others. The love that I speak of is not the kind that every one of us shows from time to time. The ‘I’m doing this because at some point I’m going to need something from you’ kind of love. The ‘alright, I’ll do this because you’re my friend, but be aware what an inconvenience this is to me’ kind of love.
I fell into the grips of this very thing this morning. I volunteered to give a ride to work to a friend. All I could think on the way to her house this morning was ‘I hope she knows how inconvenient this is’. But then I had to remind myself that she didn’t plan for her car to be incapacitated this morning.
We shouldn’t look to showing love as way to feel better about ourselves or to give meaning to our lives. Although showing love to others without regard to our personal sacrifice, or personal gain, almost always leads to giving our lives more meaning and feeling better about ourselves.
We shouldn’t look at our relationships and interactions with people in the context of how will I benefit from this person being part of my life. Although letting people into lives, regardless of what the context is, almost always leads to some ultimate benefit, even if it remains hidden for a very long time.
When I find myself asking the question ‘what’s in it for me?’ Hopefuly I can answer ‘nothing, but that’s ok.’ I think an appropriate way for me to wrap up this rant is to remind myself, and anyone reading this how St. Paul defined love in I Corinthians 13 (NIV).

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.